What a beautiful ride

Well yesterday I had my pity party, feeling like Eeyore with a rain cloud over my head, acting like my little house of sticks had just fallen apart.

Today I had time to think about the flip side of the story. I complained that everyone is always asking me about my future plans and where things stand, and how that can be frustrating for me since I don't have my plans solidified yet. But I am so fortunate to have people around me who care enough about me to take the time and ask me how my life is going. I can't be angry with people for that. It's my issues that need dealt with, I can't take it out on those around me who care about me. What kind of thanks is that for them taking an interest in me? I just wanted to be honest with how I was feeling, and I've done that, and now it's time to move on.

Besides, I really have nothing to complain about. I am incredibly blessed. I have a family who is there for me for encouragement and support, friends who keep me laughing, and a God who answers prayer!

In fact just today I received an email from a gal who is going to the same camp I'm going to in Spain this summer. She is from Omaha and she agreeable to traveling to Spain together in June. That is a HUGE answer to prayer! One of my biggest fears about this whole trip to Spain was the fact that I would be traveling by myself, and now I won't have to! How awesome is it that I have a personal relationship with a God who not only hears but answers my prayers?!

So no more of this negativity!

No more self-pity!

No more fear!

Okay, let's not get carried away here :) Baby steps right?

I'm trying to ride this ride called life, and enjoy it. What's the point of going for the ride if there's no enjoyment in it? It's so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of it all that we forget to enjoy where we are, where God has placed us!

This song really sums up what I'm trying to say....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VDNMtn0t2A

A tangled mess

Anyone who knows me at all knows that I like my life to be like this.

Neat.

Organized.

Orderly.

Planned.

Color Coordinated.

Lately I feel like my life is like this.

Chaos.

Tangled.

Messy.

Confused.

Not color coordinated.

I'm grasping, searching for the end of the thread that will lead me in the right direction....

"Kaylee have you registered for graduation yet?"

"Kaylee do you know what you want to do after you graduate?"

"Kaylee have you started looking for a job yet?"
"Kaylee don't you have a boyfriend yet?"

"Kaylee how are preparations for Spain coming?"
"Kaylee have you turned in your homework yet?"

GAH!

Sometimes I just feel like screaming "I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING WITH MY LIFE LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Unfortunately screaming at people tends to be frowned upon. I know people mean well, and they genuinely care and want to know, but people also forget that they are not the only person to have asked me these questions.

I just feel like crawling in a hole, I want to hide from it all. That's always been my personality. I am not confrontational. It doesn't matter if it's people or just an uncomfortable situation, I don't confront naturally. I much prefer to pull back into my shell and hide out the storm, hoping it will just be gone when I poke my head out.

Needless to say this is not the best way to handle the situation.

Why do I forget Who I have on my side?

Why do I forget that I have God fighting for me! I'm not in this alone, not by a long shot!

Do I ask Him for help though? I should. All I have to do is ask. He is faithful. He is mighty to save.

In His time, He will help me find the end of the thread.

He will shape me and form me into something beautiful for His glory.