I don't have a creative title...

It's amazing how we have to keep learning the same lessons in life isn't it? God teaches us something, and we think we've learned it, but then a month later we're relearning the same thing again.

Or maybe that's just me...I don't mean to generalize. But I have a feeling I'm not the only one  : )

It seems like the lesson I keep having to learn and learn again is trust.

It's not like God hasn't shown Himself to be worthy of my trust. He's definitely shown himself again and again. 

So why do I keep coming back to this issue? Why doesn't it stick??????

Why do I have such a hard time placing my trust wholeheartedly on God? 

God has been growing me again these past few months, forcing me to lean on Him and place my trust in Him. And I've learned something about myself. In the past, I would realize the need for trusting God in the BIG circumstances. Perfect example: Spain last year. A year ago I was preparing to go to Spain for two months, trying to raise funds, deciding what to pack, trying not to freak out that I was going and there was no plan for when I came home again. I was learning to trust God through that big leap of faith. But lately I've been learning to trust God through the little things. Why shouldn't I trust God to handle my daily things? He has been stretching me. Pushing here, prodding there, pruning, trimming and grooming me.

Has it been painful? Certainly.

Has it been difficult? Most definitely.

Has it been worth it? Absolutely!

I'm in a place in life that I've never experienced before, because I waited, and was patient, and trusted God. He has yet to let me down, so maybe one of these days the lesson will sink in fully. Until then I suppose I'll just keep learning, growing, and enjoying this ride! 

Getting to Know You...

I've recently grown in my appreciation for getting to know someone new. Anyone who knows me knows that meeting knew people is NOT my favorite thing. At all. It terrifies me, stresses me out, causes me anxiety. I'm horrible at small talk and can never think of anything to say or any questions to ask. My mind just goes blank!

BUT

Once the initial first meeting is over, I've realized that I can enjoy getting to know someone and making a new friend.

I've realized that getting to know someone is kind of like reading a new book for the first time. You have a whole story to explore and learn and get lost in! A new person is the same way, they have a story that they'll start to share with you, and as you get to know them and know their story you start to find things in common and relate and get invested in the person, like you would a book.

When I liken it to books it's not nearly so scary  : )
And of course, any excuse to show a clip from a musical should be taken advantage of.

5 am Musings

So it's one of those nights, I'm just not supposed to sleep I guess. There are so many other things I could be getting done, so many things to think about, so many prayers to pray. So, 4 hours of sleep it is! Let's get this stuff done!
In some ways, I love being the only one awake in the wee hours....everything is so, quiet. I love the silence. There are no distractions. The computer and cell phone are off, the lamp is low, and my Lord calls me to my knees. It's been an amazing morning.
We'll see how I feel around 2:00 this afternoon, but for now, I'm flying high, reveling in the silence and peace that only my Heavenly Father brings.

Great is His Faithfulness

Isn't it amazing how God can turn something horrible and depressing into a blessing?

This weekend was a crazy whirlwind that totally did not go as I had planned, which, for anyone who knows me, knows what a problem that can be for me. But God took my plans and after throwing them out the window into the blizzard turned me onto the path towards His plan. You'd think I would learn by now, but it seems this is one lesson I'll have to keep learning....and repeating...

I was supposed to go to Maranatha Bible camp this weekend for an annual worship conference. Churches from several states and denominations come together for a weekend of workshops and worship and fellowship and refreshment. It's also a reunion of sorts for me, since my dear dear friends,the Braddy family, who used to live in Kearney but moved to Wyoming, are there and it's wonderful to get to catch up and spend time together. Overall it's a rejuvenating and revitalizing weekend, and one that I look forward to all year.

So naturally Nebraska would go all winter with hardly any snow and then choose this one weekend to blizzard on us.

I held off making a decision on whether or not I would make the hour and a half-ish drive to camp come sleet or snow or ice or wind, but Friday morning came and it was clear that the storm wasn't going to blow over like I had hoped, and I decided it would be best to stay in Kearney. I felt like I had been punched in the gut and had a good little cry in my office once I had officially decided to stay. I couldn't help but be upset and frustrated with God. Why would He deny me the one opportunity I would have to see this family I haven't seen in eight months and an opportunity to spend a weekend growing in my worship to Him?

I couldn't see it until after the weekend was over, but my heavenly Father had some wonderful things planned for me for the weekend, and I am so grateful that I was able to spend the weekend in Kearney, doing what I ended up doing.
It still hurts, not being able to see people I had been hoping to see and don't know when I'll see again, but there was a lot of good that came out of the weekend and I am thankful that God chose to bless me as He did.
When will I learn to trust my heavenly Father with my life and plans? I don't know that I'll ever fully get there, but I hope to get better at it, through Him and His strength. I want to be able to completely trust Him with everything and it's what I'm constantly striving for.

Great is His faithfulness, His steadfast love endures forever. Amen!

Miscellaneous Ramblings

So it's been a while.
I'm sorry blog, I didn't mean to neglect you. It's amazing how the days have just been FLYING by isn't it? Suddenly I turned around and we're into the year 2012! Seriously, when did this happen? And who gave permission for this to happen?? And January is practically gone! Ridiculous :)

So what have I been up to? Let's think...
Celebrating my 23rd birthday....weird.
Moving out of my parent's basement....bittersweet.
Moving into a new apartment....crazy.
Making new friends....amaaaazing.
Working/building relationships with my coworkers....challenging.
Leading worship for women's Bible study....stretching.
Trying to stay connected with old friends....difficult.
Learning how to live with my new roomie....fun.
Learning more about my Heavenly Father....awe inspiring.

My plate is full!

It's just been amazing to take a step back and see how God has been working through me these past months. Doesn't it just blow your mind that God chooses to use us, flawed as we are?! Doesn't it humble you so much to think about how He doesn't need us. I was thinking about Adam and Eve, and how God could have so easily just said, "Well that didn't work out, I'll just scrap them and start over. Take two."
But He didn't.
He chose to extend GRACE!
He chose to love on us in a way that means so much more now that we are a FLAWED people.
Doesn't that just make you want to worship Him with everything you have?
"For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God." 2 Corinthians 4:15
And then I start thinking about how often we misconstrue the concept of worship. We'll sing the songs at church and then when we're leaving the building to go to lunch we say, "Wow, that was an awesome worship set," or we say, "I just wasn't feeling those songs today."

We're forgetting one very important thing.

It's not about us!!!!!!
Shocking. I know.

So what if I didn't FEEL anything during that worship set? It's not about how you feel, it's about praising and giving glory to God! We shouldn't be leaving the church talking about awesome the music was, but about how AWESOME God is!!!!

And sometimes yes, we will be blessed with overwhelming feelings of thanks, or awe, or conviction, and we shouldn't be afraid to feel those things. There are definitely people who are too afraid to let themselves experience those feelings, having been warned that feelings aren't to be trusted. And while no, we shouldn't be making life decision based off of feelings, we can't forget that feelings are part of the way God created us. Feelings aren't bad in of themselves, when they are from the Holy Spirit.

Fear is a feeling, and yet aren't we supposed to have a fear of the Lord our God?
"Serve the Lord with fear, and rejoice with trembling." Psalm 2:11

So where I am I going with all of this, you ask?

I'm not sure, I just know it's what was pressing on my heart, and I wanted to share :)
I hope everyone can take some time to step back and see how God is using them, it's just awe inspiring!

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Is it too soon to start listening to Christmas music?

I mean, I know we just got past Halloween, and Thanksgiving is still coming...but I just can't help myself!

But it seems in general those around me don't feel it's permissible until after Thanksgiving. Seriously??? I can't wait that long. And then I only get a month to listen to all this wooonderful music!
There is just too much good stuff out there to get through in only a month! There's just something that happens when the weather changes. The breezes are chilly, the windows start to get frosty in the morning, you can see your breath as you walk to your car, you break out the gloves and scarves and coats...it just makes me want to break out the Christmas music!
If it has to be cold outside, I should get to listen to Christmas music, that's just how I feel. And heck, it even snowed today! That's all the permission I need to break out the classic tunes :)

Below are some of my all time faves :) I'm sorry, I just can't wait four more weeks!

If you've never heard of Straight No Chaser, I'm about to change your life. They are a men's acapella group from Indiana, and they are, superb. My absolute favorite. They do a lot of mash-ups and a lot of originals, and it's all fantastic. This is one of their best Christmas, though all their Christmas is great!


Next up is Celtic Woman, a group of Irish woman who do folk music but they also have a Christmas album, and their voices just give me the chills every time! So pure and beautiful!


This next one was tough, because Point of Grace's version of O Holy Night is my absolute favorite version ever! But there are absolutely zero good recordings of it...so this was the best I could find, and it's not good. But just to kind of give you an idea...it's really is beautiful if you can ever hear a good version of it.


I love this next one also, I'm a sucker for acapella, if you hadn't figured that out yet. And I love Rascal Flatts :)


And of course no Christmas list would be complete without Michael Buble. This is a duet with Shania Twain off of his new Christmas album. It's fantastic :) This is my other excuse for breaking out the music early. You can't have Michael put out a new album in October and expect me to wait until December to listen to it. Not happening folks :)


There are so many more...but these are always at the top of my list :)

Snugglicious

With three sick coworkers and two sick family members, it was inevitable that I came down with a cold this week. So I dug out the Zicam, Puffs and Vicks and prepared for the worst.
It hasn't been the worst cold I've ever had, but I ended up taking an afternoon off of work. I huddled in the basement, wrapped up in a blanket on the couch trying to ignore the aches and chills while watching reruns of 17 Kids and Counting :) but there is really nothing that makes you feel better like a puppy to snuggle with.
Winston is the newest addition to our family, taking the place of dear Abby who we lost this spring. My family lasted all of a month without a dog in the house, and so we ended up with the bundle of energy that is Winston.

He is a red, miniature poodle with a spitfire personality and enough energy to rival a two-year old. He is such a joy :) He loves to chase the tennis ball and chew on his twenty-ish other toys that we had to buy to keep him busy because he gets bored so quickly. But if you can catch him in the right mood and the right time, he absolutely looooves to snuggle! Hi ultimate goal is to end up in your lap, being petted.
Fortunately when I was home sick, he was in the right mood, and just snuggled right up against me all afternoon.

There is nothing like the warm solidarity of a dog to make you feel warm and safe and well. Their quiet breathing, their paws twitching as they dream, their warm wet nose...
I can't imagine not having a dog. I truly feel sorry for people who have not experienced the loving relationship of having a dog. I know some people just don't like them, and that's fine, but there really is no love in the world like the love of a dog.
They are most definitely a gift from our Heavenly Father, and I was especially grateful for that gift this week.